I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
