Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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