I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Randomize
