dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
