I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Randomize
