So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
