ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
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