all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Randomize
