I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
she peed on how many people?
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
