I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
