HIV tests are more positive than that guy
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize
