Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize
