I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
