You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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