so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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