Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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