got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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