my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
