Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
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