Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Randomize
