I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Randomize
