I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
I want a musical about memes.
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