When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
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