Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
where are my eyebrows?
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