You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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