everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
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