Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I feel great
I just peed on a car
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
please come you make the beer taste better
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Randomize
