Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Randomize
