Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
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