i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Randomize
