I looked at my own cervix.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Randomize
