I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
