everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
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