we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
