Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
