I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
