I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Randomize
