also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Randomize
