ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
