While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
Randomize
