You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize