He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
sarcasm needs its own font
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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