I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
