I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
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