i don't like sucking hair
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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