i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Randomize
