Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
