Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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