I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
