Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Randomize
