New low: just hacked my moms facebook
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Randomize
