I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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